It was confirmed today that Sen. Barack Obama is a terrorist. So all you Americans out there that were trying to decide whether you should vote for the "black dude" can breathe your collective sighs of relief, and vote for the white team McCain/Palin ticket. Yes, Obama's father is a Somalian Warlord, and was a "mole" planted in Chicago to destroy the American Dream. The fact that McCain is just as likely to be some Manchurian Candidate himself is merely baseless conjecture! Americans should also erase any thoughts that President Bush has acted as if he was programed by the Saudi royal family to act in complete opposition to the nations best interests, and aid in filling King Faud's pockets with more American money to fund global terrorism.
What can we do if Obama/Biden get elected? Well... I know what can, and has been done. All you Americans know it too. Our country has done it before in '63; I naturally won't say it outright because I am sure that somewhere, a Carnivore computer program (or some carbon-based government agent) is monitoring this post in an attempt at deciding if I would make a good candidate for "patsy." We Americans are going to elect McCain/Palin into the White house, so none of us have to contemplate a Junta anyway.
The nation can rest assured that we are going to put into the White house the very best individuals for the job. After all, did anyone miss Palin emptying an entire magazine of 5.56N rounds down range; who can forget where they were when they first saw those luscious breasts rhythmically bouncing to that chorus of glorious gunfire! I know I could only remember feeling that same way, when as a youth, I witnessed Sigourney Weaver (dressed in a similar tight-fitting tee shirt) take on those other alien bastards with her M-41A! Oh... to be young and pubescent again! What red-blooded American voter could say that they didn't pop the proverbial "woody" watching that gubernatorial MILF busting a few caps off at the range.
So, if any of you heterosexual American men out there (and maybe some of you super-hot lesbians too) had any questions about what presidential ticket is better, just imagine Joe Biden in a sweat-soaked "wife-beater" tee shirt, fondling a red hot smoke wagon... yuck! I got just two words for all you commie terrorist liberals out there- BOOBS!
It is up to all God-faring Americans to do the right thing this election year. We must forget all the pertinent issues, and keep that black Muslim extremist out of the White house by voting for the McCain/Palin ticket!
2 comments:
PALIN IS NO RIPLEY. The xenomorph would have an ovipositer down her braying throat in two minutes.
You're most likely right. Besides Weaver attended Yale and holds both a BA and MFA. I think it took Palin about five years to get a BA in hockey-momming or whatever. We know Sigourney reads since she uses the nick-name "Sigourney" which she picked up from the novel "The Great Gatsby.
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