Today Sen. John McCain reluctantly conceded that Wall Street and the nation's economy in general, may be in trouble. It was reported that McCain agreed that he might have to take a closer look into this "economy thing" as the Dow Jones hits a new all time low of 12; the market has lost a staggering 99.92% of its total value over the past three weeks- a mind-numbing total loss of 11,202 points. Palin is quoted as saying, "Golly, I may be Just a 'hockey-mom' but I think it's a really gosh-darn bad idea building walls in the middle of a street."
It has also been confirmed that President Bush has announced that he will invade Israel in order to fix the slumping US economy. He was quoted today as saying, "It only makes sense right... everybody knows them Jews got all the money?"
In other news, fast-food giant McDonald's has announced that they are replacing their famous "Dollar Menu," with their new "Fifty-dollar Menu!" A spokesperson for the company sites inflation and the dropping US dollar for the move.
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